Came to a Sad Realization Watching the Utah Jazz: I’m at a Hair Crossroad

Watching the Jazz-Rockets game last night, I’ve arrived at a sad realization. As a guy that’s been losing more and more hair I’ve started to ask myself the age-old question, is it time to give up and start buzzing my hair super short every time I get my haircut?

Watching the game I saw my two fates for my hair on the court for the Jazz.

Option 1:

Grow my hair out like Quinn Snyder


Quinn Snyder looks like a Batman villain. He also looks like a slimy executive at a corporation that drips money and has a healthy coke habit. In other words, he looks cool af. It all starts with the hair. This is sort of what I’m looking to do right now.


Unfortunately, with the length my hair is currently at, I look a lot more like Baron Trump than Quinn Snyder. Regardless, the long hair part is an option to cope with a hair line that looks like the McDonalds Golden Arches. For now, Im a work in progress taking the Snyder route.

Option 2:

Trim it down like my man Joe Ingles


Joe Ingles might have the worst hair in the league. I’d even toss him on my Mt. Rushmore of NBA bald guys with Zeller, Manu and Lebron.

bald boy

Joey Bags is the face of what it looks like when you give up on your hair. Trim it down, don’t have to a lot of maintenance or styling but you own up to your balding and don’t look like you’re trying to cover up for a receding hairline which I think is commendable and counts for something.

Looks at this hairline. If I shave it down I look like Ingles.


Watching the game I saw my two fates. I don’t like either of them but hey that’s something for me to deal with. Acceptance is the first stage of recovery, and I’ve accepted that I’m a bald bag. Next step is deciding who I want to be. Bald bag Ingles or Mob Boss Quinn.

Tough decision to make. Rogaine holler at me, let’s start pumping some ads out on I know for a fact you haven’t aligned with any other WNBA-G League-Cyrpto sites so let’s make history baby.

I’m the captain of team #BaldingButImBalling.

If you dont like it, I have two words for you baby