I’ll be the first one to come out and say it, lately, I’ve been a bad judge of talent. I was wrong about Trae Young. I was wrong about Jaylon Brown. I thought Bitcoin would be worth about 40k by now. But I was right about Papa John. Point blank, there’s no debating this. You’re looking at the greatest pizza man of all time. The dedication to the pizza game is unmatched. Some people would say eating 40 pizzas in 30 days is absolutely insane but those same people don’t understand what it takes to be the best in their field. They don’t possess the dedication, they put their internet commenter hat on where they don’t care about anything because they’re too cool. They’re content with second place. They’re content with watching their competition win. Not me and not Papa John. I’ll take the Papa over any Twitter Egg in the trenches. My man is sweating grease. Sure, I hear you’re criticisms, the Papa’s racist but I’m willing to look past that awful fact to save my own life and possibly save pizza. I want to be on the right side of history and ultimately all signs are pointing to the right side of history being the Papa’s side. A couple weeks ago the Papa announced the day of reckoning is upon us, and in case you’ve been living under a rock the Papa has been stacking up bodies like the Clintons.
Dominoe’s CFO David Baurenfeind tragically died in a snorkeling accident while on Vacation with his family this week. I’m not saying the Papa was behind this but I’m definitely not saying he wasn’t, I’m just connecting the dots. If I’m in the pizza game I’m calling up Lloyds of London ASAP to see what kind of life insurance policies I can take out on the key members of the pizza game. If my name was Charles Entertainment Cheese, I’d be sleeping with one eye open because the key leaders of pizza game are dropping like flies.
In today’s age of fake news and sponsored content where advertisements are harder to read than ever, it wouldn’t shock me at all if Charles Entertainment Cheese paid off this hack YouTuber Timmy Timato to make this propaganda.
I didn’t even watch this shit, to know it’s garbage. The Papa and Chuck E Cheese shouldn’t be in the same conversation. One is a restaurant built on gimmicks with a stupid mouse mascot, rides and arcade games while another is all about pizza, the most important thing. If Papa John’s pizza sucked they’d need gimmicks to get people in the door. This was something that was true for a long time, no gimmicks, just pizza. Well it was true, until they fired my man the Papa and replaced him with Shaq. And if you’re replacing the Papa with Shaq it makes me inclined to believe the Papa when he says the quality of the pizza is declining because Shaq is the biggest walking gimmick on the planet.
I mean come on, look at this asshole. Guy doesn’t know pizza. He’s just some glorified pitch bag like Billy Mays (RIP). It’s a disgrace to the Papa John brand and the Papa personally to replace him with Shaq. Sleep with one eye on open Shaq, you should’ve never signed that deal, the Papa’s coming. From the word’s of Trill Withers:
Back to the bodies…
Yesterday, the Papa showed up to Rupp Arena supporting Big Blue Nation as the Kentucky Wild Cats took on the Louisville Cardinals. Rocking big blue was a big change for the Papa, a long time, Cardinal Supporter.
But Louisville asked for this when they crossed the Papa and changed the name of their football stadium from Papa John’s Cardinal Stadium to Cardinal Stadium. And guess what happened when the Cardinals crossed the Papa?
They got murdered.
Last but not least, last night Justin Fields and the Ohio State Buckeyes pissed down their pants and lost to Clemson in the College Football Playoff. Guess what was waiting for them after the game?
The Papa, dancing on their graves.
It’s simple, the Papa is out for blood. I am #TeamPapa. If you want to live and want to be on the right side of history it’s time to follow me and the Papa. Bodies are dropping like flies and this is not a coincidence.
THE DAY OF RECKONING IS UPON US.