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JR Smith is a Next Level Girl Scout Cookie Salesman

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This morning the internet streets are buzzing with twitter eggs crawling out of their caves coming at JR Smith’s neck because last night he called Marcus Smart a bum on instagram. For the record, the official statement of PopOffBaby.com is yes, Marcus Smart is in fact a bum. His extension will be looked at years from now as a wildly dumb contract by Brad Stevens and will hopefully fuck up the cap causing stars to leave and bring Brad back home where he belongs.

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This morning after seeing all the internet commotion I checked in on JR’s insta page and found something not enough people are talking about. JR is a next level Girl Scout Cookies salesman.

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JR has a cool 4.2 million instagram followers this is a genius move. Who wants to sit out in the cold in front of grocery store having to listen to the dickhead from the Salvation Army ring a bell all day when you can sit in your mansion and watch the Girl Scout cookie purchases roll in from your famous dads followers. That is what America’s all about, working smarter not harder. Lick my bag baby boomers. Everyone hates when their boss walks around with an order pamphlet for cookies essentially guilt tripping employees to buy cookies for their shitty kid, but this sales method I can get behind. As a guy that doesn’t know any middle school girls this was also clutch because I need a cookie connect and Demi B is officially that person for me. I popped on 21 boxes, not a big deal, light shopping spree on cookies for the number one refurbished bowflex salesman in north america. That’s like half a commission check for a refurbished stationary bike but who’s counting???

Also, Girl Scouts of New Jersey what the fuck??? 26 dollars for shipping??? I mean I’m rich as fuck but come on, this is grand larceny.

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The one thing I’ll say is Demi B needs to crank these numbers up, these are rookie numbers. 1500 boxes is a noble goal for a kid that’s hustling their ass off in front of a grocery store in the cold slanging cookies or for a Dad who’s a manager at a Chase Bank branch with some employees that’ll begrudgingly buy cookies for him. The goal should be at-least 10k boxes with 4.2 million instagram follows pumping Demi’s Cookie World.

I love this move and if I was a celebrity I’d do the same thing, use my social media platform to beg people to buy my kids shit.

By the way, buy a fucking t shirt,

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