I’m going to come right out and say it. I NEED the Bezos the nudes and I needed them yesterday. This is the most excited I’ve been for nudes since Vanessa Hudgens’s nudes got released when I was in middle school, which is maybe the first time I was excited for nudes.


Everything’s gone right for Bezos for probably the past decade. It’s about time karma comes back around for putting tons of retailers out of jobs and refusing to pay his fulfillment workers reasonable wages.

Worst part about it is, Bezos probably has a 12-inch dick. Guy has everything, and it wouldn’t shock me at all if he’s walking around with a billion-dollar hammer in his pants.
Whoever has these needs to use them as blackmail for at least a billion dollars or as a bargaining piece some common good in the world like paying the fulfillment employees and then release them anyways because fuck Bezos.

What a time to be alive. I never thought this day would come, the richest man in America loses his wife, half his fortune and his dick will soon be on the internet.


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