Poppin Off

The Gift For the Guy that Has Everything

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Yesterday, I listened to Pardon My Take’s episode with Ricky Williams and needless to say I was hooked. I love Ricky Williams, he’s truly a fascinating character that I believe is misunderstood. Ricky and several other former NFL players are starting a new football league called the Freedom Football League. On the Freedom Football League website there is an application to become an owner.

Did I sign up to become an owner of the Connecticut Underground??? Of course I did and I’ll be updating my Linkedin to say Professional Football team owner once I’m approved. Everybody knows I’m humble, blue collar and not one to brag but you don’t become the number one Bowflex salesman in North America without giving off the vibe that you drip money, success and wealth like a Pro Football owner.

It’s Christmas and you;re probably wondering: L Bag what are you doing to bring in the Christmas Cheer???

I’m jerking off 3 times a day in my childhood room. So nostalgic. Was really nervous a fleshlight was going to set off alarms at TSA due to the odd shape of the item but thank goodness it didn’t. A true Christmas Miracle.

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I’ve registered for a half marathon and I’ve made it a mission to reduce my vices to get in better shape for the race. This means, I’ll be gambling, eating, drinking and smoking much less. These weed withdrawals are a serious bitch. Two nights in a row with basically zero sleep.

Last night as I’m trying to fall asleep my guy Ricky pops in my head and I head to his website and find maybe the best Christmas gift of all time.

Ricky charges people $150 for one hour to discuss Astrology. I never knew I needed to know about astrology but obviously now I do. If any of the reader’s want to get me a gift book me an hour with Ricky. Hope you and yours have a Merry Christmas and if you see a Grinch I’ve got two words for them.

POP OFF.

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