NBC recently announced an reboot of “The Office.” “The Office” is one of my favorite shows and I naturally had mixed feelings about the show returning to television. I saw a comment on /r/wallstreetbets that got me thinking. Someone made a suggestion that there should have been an episode where Michael discovered the stock market. I think an episode where Michael discovers cryptocurrency would be gold.
Here’s how I think it could go…
Michael hears about bitcoin on TV as it’s value is rapidly climbing every day. He finally decides to buy in at an all time high.
After buying Michael, basically acts like he’s some sort of bonafide boy genius that discovers cryptocurrency. All he does is talk about bitcoin to anyone that will listen around the office. Michael acts like he’s the first person to ever invest money in something and treats everyone who doesn’t own bitcoin like a peasant. “Bitcoin is the future” and Michael Scott is the wolf of wall street because he bought 0.07 BTC at an all time high.
Ultimately, two weeks after buying in the price drops 20% and Michael gets scared and sells his bitcoin at a loss. He’s baffled that the price isn’t rising 10% everyday.
Ryan is a scam artist going around trying to get people to invest in shit coin ICO that he pumps and dumps
Kelly knows about cryptocurrency because she bought some coin Paris Hilton was promoting on instagram.
Kevin buys bitcoin solely to gamble online. He losses most of it playing dumb games like online slots on company time
Creed was an early adopter and quietly mined bitcoin for years without telling anyone. He’s a multi millionaire.
Angela thinks bitcoin is only for “drug dealers and criminals”
Stanley is the old guy who is very anti bitcoin due to volatility and only believes investing his money in safe ETFs and Mutual Funds in his 401k.
Oscar saw a Netflix documentary and thinks he knows everything about bitcoin. Constantly uses all the buzzwords like “decentralized” and “blockchain” trying to correct people and spewing out regurgitated opinions from others that he found on reddit.
Andy had an opportunity to get in early on building out a bitcoin exchange with one of his classmates from Cornell but thought it was a dumb idea. The exchange his friends built is now called Coinbase.
Phyllis is the person that repeats a family members opinion to people as if their opinion holds any weight at all and is supposed to matter to random people. She tells everyone repeatedly that “my husband Bob Vance told me bitcoins a scam and it’ll eventually drop because of supply and demand.”
Jim is the common man who doesn’t really care about bitcoin and wishes everyone would just stop talking about it.
Hey NBC, you’re welcome. If you don’t want to use it I’ve got two words for you…